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Uninitiated straight white women who have yet to “go black” are probably just as curious as some of the gay white men who have pursued me.
However, once their curiosity is satisfied, their long-term behavior is probably less likely to be racially motivated.
Contrary to what many white people who find black people more attractive than white people might think, some black people don’t really care. Not only did she love black men, but she could pull in the cream of the chocolate crop, one who had barely aged. He wasn’t a bad-looking guy, but I didn’t think he was any reason to show off to a complete stranger either. She could take that as “Yeah, he’s hot” if she wanted to. By then she’d moved on to new business: the nights she made out with girls.
We’d rather be judged on our individual physical merit, not the physical merit of our race. I was kind of curious, but I was more interested in seeing a throwback photo from the ’90s than in seeing what he looked like in the present day. I wondered if she would think I was self-loathing if I told her I didn’t think he deserved her accolades.
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She must have read my mind when she made the disclaimer about finding white men attractive, too. She was a “chocolate queen,” but she was open to other flavors. But from a distance, I’ve noticed that when a straight white woman dates a straight black guy, it’s less likely to be part of a pattern, her were TV’s first interracial married couple, and they were played by Franklin Cover, a white actor, and Roxie Roker, a black actress who was also married to a white man offscreen (TV producer Sy Kravitz, rocker Lenny’s dad).
She was a chatty and congenial Aussie, with a distinctive no-bullshit edge. And a number of biracial celebrities — including Alicia Keys, Drake, Halle Berry, and Wentworth Miller — were born to white mothers and black fathers.
Most importantly on a Friday night, she was a straight woman in gay bar who wasn’t playing the I’m-such-a-fabulous-fag-hag card while taking up way more space than necessary. I have a theory about white women and black men, and it goes a little something like this.
Skepticism towards black men/white women relationships is a longstanding and well-documented part of our cultural fabric in America. I'm not a "black man" who "dates white women." I'm a person.
I have my own unique experiences and some of them include having dated women who are white, but because interracial dating is such a historically tense and loaded subject, it's hardly ever looked at with any understanding or compassion for the people personally involved.