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“Their primary interest is really the adult partner, and they may find themselves more irritated when there's a problem with the children.'' Of course, not all stepparents or “bonus parents” (male or female) struggle to bond or love the children of their new partners.There are certainly many stories of blended families thriving.Their success depends on various “ingredients,” according to the American Psychological Association.April Eldemire, LMFT, writing for the Gottman Institute, affirms how “critical” it is for remarried couples to “learn how to communicate effectively and not be afraid to discuss sensitive topics as they arise.” Furthermore, fostering resilience through healthy family ritual and structure has been found to be more indicative of a child’s success rather than living in a first or second marriage household.
As divorced or single parents, we can protect our children best when we stay connected and involved in our children’s lives, positively co-parent with the other biological parent to the best of our ability, and engage in new relationships with mindfulness, patience and clear boundaries.
Nearly 25 percent of children in America live with a single parent, usually their mother, though the number of children living with single fathers rose from 1 to 4 percent since 1960.
Census, the majority of the nearly 74 million children ages 18 and under live in a home with two parents, whether married or unmarried.
Sometimes referred to as the “abusive boyfriend syndrome,” scholars note there is “a statistically greater potential for instability” in homes where adults and children, who have no biological connection, reside.
“It comes down to the fact they don't have a relationship established with these kids,” states Eliana Gil, clinical director for the national abuse-prevention group Childhelp.